Monday, March 17, 2008

“Congratulations! Things have settled, they have agreed”


Congratulations! Things have settled, they have agreed”... my parents are more then happy. It sounds so simple. Like emancipation from an unwanted burden. Like a simple numerical equation. But it has completely left out one factor - me. And how can I, or even my parents, get right answer without that?

“No bad habits, a good career, a good family. What more do you want?”

“A man, a husband, a good companion...man who hears my voice when I speak...who understands me even when I don’t...”

But my desires are so elementary compared to ‘a good job, good family and no bad habits’ that I am ashamed to reveal them. But I have nothing to worry. No one asked me, and I am not going to tell anyone.

Until today it has always been, “
they have refused”. And I had always wondered, how do they know, after seeing me for just a few minutes that I won’t do? How can they know anything about me at all?

Doubts have always plagued me- how do one look into a man or a woman in a couple of minutes? And also, that can the whole of a person be known even in entire life?

Sometimes I feel we are all destined to be strangers to one another...forever sealed in separate partitions called ‘self’.

Why am I thinking all this?
Why am I writing all this?
I don’t know.

Why had I imagined the choice was mine?
It had never been mine.

I surrender my illusions and embrace the reality...Congratulations to me! Things have settled...they have agreed.

No comments: